


Immortality's Bane

by CatsRecipehs



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bromance, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Help, Immortality, Insecurity, Love, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 20:00:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12372987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatsRecipehs/pseuds/CatsRecipehs
Summary: Jace Herondale can feel something is wrong with his parabatai, Alec Lightwood. After finding out the couple has had a fight, will he be able to help in time to save their relationship?Multichapter, M x M, Bromance





	Immortality's Bane

It was storming in the city, the rain and wind striking the stained glass windows of the Institute with reckless abandon. The perfect night to be indoors, Jace Herondale thought as he wiped a bead of sweat from his brow. He loved to train at night. It was dark, quiet and allowed him some time to think. He took a breath and regained his stance in the middle of three punching bags he had set up in the training hall, his body shirtless with a pair of fitted black sweatpants. Without sound, he darted towards the bag to his right, his wrapped fists landing blow after blow into the tough vinyl. He gave a loud grunt as he shifted now to his left, dipping down to attack the fake foe in the lower torso. When he was satisfied, he turned completely, lifting his leg high into the air as he attempted to land a hard roundhouse to his furthest adversary. Unfortunately, he came up short, and the awkwardness of the misjudged kick sent his whole body to the ground.

“Damnit,” he hissed as he looked around. How did he misjudge that? He had landed this sequence a thousand times before with never a falter, and yet this was the third time he had failed tonight. He hung his head back, letting his eyes close as he stared up in thought. Something was wrong. A moment more of silence before he sat up straight, eyes open now and looking towards the doorway. Alec.

The blond Shadowhunter jumped to his feet, heading out of the room as he walked quickly and with purpose towards the office that had recently been appointed to Alexander Lightwood. From what Jace could feel, he knew his parabatai was not hurt, nor was not in trouble. But something was wrong; wrong enough to mess with his concentration, and that was something he was not going to tolerate in a time of war. When he reached the office, he let himself in without bother to knock, immediately frowning at what he saw. Alec was sleeping, head on the large desk, papers and books strewn about him as if he were digging for an answer he would never find and so he simply gave up to exhaustion. Jace frowned heavily. When he had given this position to his best friend, he never dreamed it would come to this.

“Alec…” he said softly as he headed towards the desk. When he reached his friend, he shook him gently then gave him a moment as he heard the dark haired man groan.

“Huh? I’m awake…I’m fine…” Alec stammered as he sat up quickly. Too quickly, though, as books started to fall off the desk to his side. He tried to grab them in his sleepiness, but it ended up making more of a mess than if he would have just let it happen. He sighed aloud, putting both hands on his face for a moment before he pushed them back into his hair. “Jace?” he said now, as if he had just noticed that his parabatai was in the room.

Jace was just staring. He had never seen Alec in this state before and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. “Yeah, it’s me…are you awake?”

“Yeah...are you standing in my office with no shirt on? I mean if you’re trying to impress Clary it’ll probably work,” Alec responded, trying to offer a soft smile.

Jace, however, was failing to find the humor. He crossed his arms over his sculpted chest as he continued to watch the other man. “I was training and I had to stop because I can’t concentrate because whatever is wrong with you is really clouding me up. So out with it…let me help,” he said. He looked tough but his words held a deep sincerity that he reserved for his family and closest friends. “And if you say you’re fine I’ll punch you, I’m dressed for it.”

Alec raised a brow, but then relented. He turned his chair towards Jace and looked directly at him. Alec’s eyes, normally full of life and determination, were dull and dark. “Magnus and I had a fight.”

“Wait, what?” Jace responded, looking entirely surprised by the response he received. He was prepared to give some sort of pep talk about how being the leader is hard work but worth it in the end, but now his thoughts took a different turn. Of course they had a fight, he thought; that’s why this was affecting him so strongly. This was something that was plaguing Alec’s innermost emotions at his deepest core, not just some ‘work is too hard’ flight of self-pity. Jace pulled a chair up now and sat so that he was directly in front of Alec, their knees touching in the dimly lit room. “When was the last time you saw him?”

Alec’s defenses were starting to crumble. The closer Jace got, the more the distraught shown on his face. It was a pain that was difficult to control yet embarrassing to Alec to display. “It…it happened three days ago. Jace I don’t know what to do…” he stammered.

“Alec…” Jace whispered softly, taking his best friend’s hand into his own. It was shaking. Jace could feel the aching pain of Alec’s heart through the rune that bonded them. This was bad. “Relax, okay? Just tell me what happened. I’m sure we can figure it out and fix it. I’ll help you.”

“I don’t know…I don’t know this time,” Alec said, grasping Jace’s hand. He cleared his throat in an attempt to calm himself a little. It worked, for now. “So…so three days ago we were supposed to meet for dinner. I made sure that I was on time because I know that lately I’ve been really busy. Magnus understands, but anyway that’s not the point. I get there, right. I get to the penthouse, and I just let myself in…I mean…I live there too, so…I shouldn’t have to knock. Anyway, when I walk in, there’s Camille. Yeah, her,” he said, responding to the surprise in Jace’s eyes. “She was just about to kiss him, Jace. Magnus pushed her away, but I saw the whole thing. I just…I just stood there. You know what she said to me?” he asked, pausing as he felt his emotions swelling up in the pit of his stomach. There was hurt and anger in his voice now. “She said he always fell for the young, dark featured ones. That I was just like a phase of the moon in his life that was repeating again for the hundredth time over. Magnus silenced her, opened some portal and pushed her off to somewhere. He tried to say something but I stopped him. I…I told him I didn’t want to hear it…hear anything…and I just left.”

Jace took in the story, his thumb gently rubbing over Alec’s fingers as he continued to hold his friend’s hand for support. “Alec…she…I mean she was just trying to get to you, and to Magnus…” he said.

Alec shook his head. “I know Jace, I know. And that’s what Magnus was probably trying to say, but…I mean she’s right, in a way, right? What am I to a man who is immortal? What could I possibly hold for him that he hasn’t had, or hasn’t seen, or hasn’t had better?” he asked, a look of defeat now fully hanging on his features.

“He’s never had you, Alec. Hey…listen to me…” Jace said firmly as he reached up with his other hand, putting his palm to Alec’s face to prevent him from turning away from his gaze. This weakness was not like his brother. “You’re not just some dark haired, brown-eyed flavor of the century. You’re Alec Lightwood. You’re a Shawdowhunter. You’re head of the New York Institute. And most importantly? Magnus loves you, Alec. And I know you love him.”

“Well I shouldn’t,” Alec responded sharply and quickly, pulling back from Jace’s touch as he rolled his chair back. He stood up and made his way to the fireplace in the room, placing one hand on the mantle as he hung his head. His mind felt like a roller coaster of thought as he stood staring into the soft glow of the flames. Orange. They danced liked Magnus’s magic. Everything was Magnus.

“Hey, no need to get pissed at me, man,” Jace said with the slightest bit of anger in his voice as he stood as well, moving over towards his brother. He put a hand on Alec’s shoulder, forcing the other man to turn and face him once again. “Why shouldn’t you love him? Because you’re not immortal? I mean that’s what this is about, right?”

If Jace wasn’t going to back down, then neither was Alec. “You’re right I’m not,” he said as he threw his hands out to his sides, that pained resentment still deeply seeded in his voice. “I’m going to grow old while he stays exactly the same. Do you think I’m going to let that happen, Jace? Do you think I’m going to put him through that?”

“Ohhh….ohhh I get it now, Alec. I get it now. You’re doing that thing you’ve always done when you’re not in charge of every detail. You’re trying to make excuses and warp things so that you can make the choices. What about Magnus? Don’t you think he hasn’t thought about all of this, too? Doesn’t he get a choice?”

“Fuck you, Jace.”

Jace shook his head. “Yup, I’m right. That’s your last resort when you’re cornered. You never swear at me; it’s not articulate enough. Here, I’ll just say it for you: You’re in love, but you’re terrified because love isn’t something that can be controlled, especially when someone else is involved. Alec I’m no expert, but when you hit an obstacle in a relationship, you’re supposed to work it out together.”

“Immortality is not an obstacle, Jace, it’s a dead end!” Alec shouted now, again pulling away from Jace and moving towards the office windows. The rain was still beating down outside. There was a long silence.

A strike of lightning illuminated the room. In that flash of intensity, Jace saw something that made him gasp: Alec was crying. Without a word the blond moved to his brother, pulling Alec against him as he gently stroked his hair. He could feel the man breaking in his arms, his body giving in to the comfort as he started to sob. Jace had never seen his parabatai in this much pain and heartache. It was enough to bring tears of his own to his eyes; but now was not the time. He had to be strong for his brother.

“Alec,” Jace said between them as Alec kept his face buried against Jace’s shoulder. “We were always taught that emotions got in the way. I lived that way for years, and then I met Clary. Then…then all this crazy stuff happened and in the end, I find out that the man who taught me everything I know about feelings was trying to make me into a soldier. An uncaring, emotionless pawn he could use to kill the light of the world. Don’t let your fear lead you down this path. It’s lonely. It’s dark, and it’s so long that your lifetime alone will feel like immortality. Except he won’t be beside you. So…to me, you’ve got two choices. You leave him and close yourself off, living an empty life of duty from which there is no escape, or you push your fear away and let your heart win this one, just this once. Because even if you can’t have forever, isn’t anything better than a memory?”

“Jace…” Alec whispered between them, taking a moment to compose himself before he pulled back to look at his parabatai. “The moment I met him it started. A spark that turned into a flame that turned into a fire in my heart that made me feel alive in a way I’ve never known. I love him. I love him with a passion that bred this fear. You’re right…I can’t control love. I can’t control life or death, either. But I can control how I act towards the man that means everything to me. So…you’re right. I need to go talk to him. This is his life, too,” he said with a nod.

Jace smiled softly, giving Alec’s shoulders a squeeze before he let him go. He could feel in their rune that things were a little clearer, even if the pain remained.  “Good. Go talk to him. Go now. All this…it can wait,” he said, motioning to the office. “But I’m always here, alright? You know that.”

“Yeah…yeah I do,” Alec said as he returned the soft smile. “You know…for a guy who hated feelings just like a month ago, you give some really good advice.”

“Hey…I just want to be able to land my roundhouse again. You can do whatever you want with your sappy love shit,” Jace replied, but winked at his brother as he grinned.

That made Alec laugh, which was more than welcome in the moment. “I’m going to call him, right now, I promise. By the way…heard Clary talking to Izzy today about the diet restrictions while training. Something about how she’d do anything for a chocolate milkshake.”

Jace raised a brow, then slowly smiled. “One secret chocolate milkshake during training never hurt anyone, did it? I know just the place…hey, call me. Please,” he said, then headed out of the room.

Alec moved to his desk, sifting through papers until he found his phone. 5 missed calls from Magnus Bane. 10 unread messages from Magus Bane. He took a deep breath, dialed, and waited.

Would it be his turn to be ignored?


End file.
